I will die if light touches me.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize