ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
