Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's never too late to be topless.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
