Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
