I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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