I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
