This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
