who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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