Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
