you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
