Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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