he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
