"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
