dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
