doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
