He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
