How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ok first of all what the fuck
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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