My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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