Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
