I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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