I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
