imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
