Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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