Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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