I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
another moral hangover. fuck.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Randomize
