Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
