every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
