p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
