its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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