yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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