she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
