so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
