last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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