I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
