good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
