Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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