Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
