i think i have two assholes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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