This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
