I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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