with your own penis?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
