first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
