Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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