i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
