Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
