Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
