jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
