Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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