I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
