I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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