matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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