bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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